Academia – Parte II
I’m so amazed by the fact I’ve been working out that I’m able to write the most stupid posts about it. Later on, my sister will probably write me saying, “Are you fucking out your mind?!” or Lilly will call me and say I’m posesed or something…
Anyway, I’m entitled to do it.
It’s been a month since we first enroled at the NYSC, so today my sdvisor called me to schedule my Personal Trainer sessions. When Tomita decided he wanted to do gym, I called the NYSC and everyone at the newspaper signed up together. Because of that, we got free sessions with a Personal Trainer.
The first month, we were suposed to get used to the place, plan a efective schedule and work on the cardio exercises, you know, the thredmill, the stationery bike… Now, we are suposed to exercise like normal human beigns, what nobody told me is how much that could hurt.
My first day, Robert calls me to schedule the personal trainer and says Tea is going to take care of me. I answer him, “No, I want a male personal trainer, I’m not paying that much money to work out with a woman…”. He insisted on Tea and that’s the best thing he did, I could act like an idiot with a man.
So, first, she came with the whole questionaire:
What goals do you want to achieve in a short-term period?
What goals do you want to achieve in a long-term period?
Why are you here?
What is that? That’s crazy talk, man! I’m here because I don’t wanna die before my 30’s, like, I still have a lot to do. I’m here because I haven’t done anything, not even a streching exercise since the 1990’s.
Well, I had to answer the craziest things that came to my head. “My goal is to have very strong arms and back, like Jessica Biel in Blade Trinity (how gross!), and run the state marathon”. I swear to God I did that.
The truth is, I had an episode Sunday night. Usually, I pack up with cigarrets for the weekend. By Friday, I have like, three packs in my purse. This past week was no different. Bu, somehow I lost the last pack in my house. On Sunday, I started to look for it, destroyed the house and couldn’t find it anywhere. Then, I found one last cigarret in my jacket’s pocket. After that, I went out, it’s was fucking cold, I had just a jacket on and my flip flops.
I walked to the licquor store, a block from my house and the dman thing was closed. I got really scared and walked on the other side, looking for another deli/pahrmacy/licquor and everything was closed. What was that? Licquors are suposed to close after 10pm on Sundays!
Than I got really mad, came back home and started calling all the delivery numbers I have asking if they had cigarrets and delivered them to me. The only one that did that was closed 9what the fuck happened on Sunday?), and I had to spend the rest of the night with smoking. I even thought about calling a cab a asking him to drive me to some Quick Check or Walgreens, but that would be too much.
So, today I started the training program for real. While we were doing the cardio thing I was ok. Last week, we started with the 2 pound weights for the arms. That was fine to, I can do the 1/2 hour with 2 pounds. Today, we started with the 5 pounds and the whole circuit. I had to do sit ups on a plastic ball.
First of all, I looked like a country-woman inside the gym, everything gets a “wooowww”. Second of all, my first thought when I saw that ball was going to rip it all up if I sit in it.
She is a mad woman, she made me do all the sit ups on the ball. My thoughts were, “this is going to fucking rip it all off with my weight on it, or I’ll loose the balance and fucking fall in the floor”. Then, everything started to hurst so much, WHY DO PEOPLE go through that much pain? Seriouslly, why?
Things only got worse, she made me do push ups. Man, I can’t do any push ups. I’m like a walking jelly, my arms are like a child’s arms. She asked for 15, I did 12 and died in the floor. My spirit is typing in here. I’m there, dropped dead. (I’m such a woman, sometimes… Gosh!)
Then the series of exercises for the butt came, my knees gave up, I was red, sweaty, a mess. We ended up with the exercises for the arms, with the 5 pounds weights. I already changed my mind, I want to be soft for the rest of my days and If I have to die by the time I’m 27, I’m fine with it. As long as I don’t have to go through all of that ever again.
That said, my next personal trainer session is schedule for wednesday, after the kickboxing class. I’m really out of my mind. It didn’t take the whole day to realise it. Early in the morning I called Lilly to ask the name of the thing you put in the shower and five minutes after you leave the place, the things turns on and starts cleaning the walls with some kind of chemmicals. Also, I want to buy the Sweefer-vaccum. The that cool vaccum called Kone.
Authomatic Shower Cleaner. That’s the name! Fantastic invention!
Oh, and that Roomba i-Robot. That one is nice, the red one. Yeah.
[the lack of nicotine in my bloodstream is causing all this]
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