Chapter Zero – Why Should I begin with “Chapter One”? Who the fuck established that the number one should come first?

03Sep06

So, I’m writing a book. It does not help me much, as I’m busy enough as it is. But I’m definitely doing it. I know, there it goes my good four-hour asleep nights. I’ll probably become a zombie or something… But, I’m enjoying it so much I just can’t stop.

I’ve started a much different book last year (My Chemical Romance), but the superficiality of the relationship I was in did not provide the inspiration I needed, so I dropped that (the structural book’s idea is so fucking great that I’ll probably pick the project up again anytime soon…). Actually, now that I come to think of it, the only chemical part of the romance I had last year, was the reactions that happened in my stomach with alcohol after we broke up. A divorce is on its way, so it’s a turned page.

And I’ve started writing another one. It’s in English, as I’m not the one for the Portuguese turn of phrases and shit… Plus, all the expressions and ideas come to mind in English and I won’t translate the thing. That’s not just gonna happen. Surprisingly enough, it’s going really well. I already did something like, 100 pages up to today, and it’s coming out fine.

The most important thing is, I’m having so much fun with it, that if I could clone myself (I’m really into the clone thing right now, I have so many things to do at the same time, that I cannot do it just do it because I’m only one person, that a clone would come in handy), would be great and I’d spend much more time writing it and, probably, finishing it much sooner.

Damn, science ethics!

So, for the next few weeks I’ll be working on it during dawn, after I finish working on my process. Actually, I’m taking sometime off from the newspaper so I could finish the process on time. It’s being tough, you know, specially being far from work, but I needed this time down to make things work out well.

Life will probably get back to normal in the next couple of weeks. I hope! And, as soon as I have anything new about the book (Mychelle is taking care of the boring publishing problems), I’ll get back here.

***

When my Mom visited me, this summer, she lost her adored watch. And she is one of those people who cannot live with a watch, she need it to track every single move of her busy day.

I, on the contrary, do not use watches. I do not even know how to look at them, I think.

So, the other day, it was dawn (it is always dawn when things happen in my apartment), and I was looking for an old Discman (“I know I have it, I just don’t know where” kind of situation) and I decided to get under the roof, so I could look inside all the boxes I brought from the other apartment and never opened them. I found her watch inside a box filled with a lot of crap.

What was she doing in my roof?

Men, my Mom is crazy. She wasn’t here when I moved and when she got here everything was already kinda settled. So, what the fuck was she doing in my roof?

Anyway, I put the watch on and did not take it off. I don’t even know if the time is right and I just use it as a bracelet or something, but it’s so pretty and reminds me of her. Although, it has nothing to do with my style…

And then, I look at the watch and I think, “I miss my Mom so much. I miss the way she looks like. (Different than me,) She is so pretty. I miss the way she talks; I miss watching Alias with her. I miss when I got home and she was outside in the porch waiting for me to get back from work. I miss when we went down to the ice cream parlor, and sat at those wooden branches and talked and smoked together for hours.”

It’s that kind of moment that I really do not understand what I’m doing in here. I do not even have a life, I work like a crazy person, I do not sleep, I spend most of my days in front a computer and I could perfectly do it in goddamn Brazil, where I have her and my Granny.

I am sure I’m going to regret the time I’m spending here for the rest of my life and die of cancer.

Still, why the fuck don’t I get into an airplane and go back home?

Why?

Its a mistery.

***

I’m enjoying so much having Mychelle and Romulo around these days, i cannot even explain how happy those two make me. It’s just crazy, they are a couple of fucked up people and I just love’em.

It’s so much fun, we say so much crap to each other, we swear all the time and, I just feel like I found people that I really can connect to. Romulo imitates Chubaka, from Star Wars all the time and Mychelle seems to know all the funk music from Rio. It is just lots of laughs, guaranteed.

I’m so much in love with them; I already started to suffer for the time we are going to stay apart when we stop to working together. You know… Work is our link and I’ll not work together for the rest of our lives. It’s just sad. We are the perfect trio, with the cleverest jokes and we like and admire each other so much. It’s all good.

Of course I’m recording like, every single second we spend together, so I have it for the rest of my life.

Yeah, I’m creepy. I thought so too.

***

Proof

***

I had to watch the new Spike Lee movie to write and article for the newspaper this week, you know, the one about New Orleans and Katrina, “When The Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts”. It’s got like, 4:15h. duration, and it’s just so sad. And it’s crazy because I did not live that.

Last year, I was extremely busy actually living a life I don’t have this year that I just did not had the time to read/watch/talk about Katrina. So, it’s like of surreal to think about it.

I went to Chicago at the end of July, when I got back, I went to New Orleans, on a five days work trip, and had the opportunity to visit the place, which was just beautiful. New Orleans was so rich, so contrasting, and so crazy! The French Quarters reminded me a lot of Salvador, the streets and the houses, the bars, the architecture, the music everywhere!

When I got back from Louisiana it was August 5th and on the 11th I went to Florida for a two-week vacation in Orlando. On the 23rd I got back from Orlando and the next day the storm hit Florida.

The VMA’s happened in Miami on the 24th and I remember half of the city was without power. On the 29th the storm hit New Orleans. It’s just so crazy, it happened at the same time and it’s just sad.

The thing with the levees is crazy. The story Lee tells is that the government destroyed the levees in the poorer part of the town to avoid flooding the richest part of the town, where the million dollars properties are located. It’s crazy. people saying they heard the explosions (at the levees) and then everything got flooded.

The images of the hurricane destroying the roof at the Superdome are the scariest. It’s like a super power ripping off the roof!

So, it’s Katrina’s Anniversary and the New Orleans’ Mayor, the other day on “60 minutes” was responding critics about the city being still destroyed and said “Well, you guys in New York could help us rebuild New Orleans. But, you couldn’t even cover a hole that’s now five years old, how could you help us?”

It’s just great!



One Response to “Chapter Zero – Why Should I begin with “Chapter One”? Who the fuck established that the number one should come first?”

  1. 1 alguém

    Oh my God, I used to write better in English…and you are the same person in both languages…I´m curious about the book…


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